Last night while I was making dinner, the t.v. was on in the living room. I hadn't turned it on, but the movie playing in the background was "Walk the Line"-- the love story between June Carter Cash and Johnny Cash. I've seen the movie once or twice, most frequently in bits like this particular evening (as I am not a big movie watcher). And I think I did like it pretty well the first time I saw it. But without fail, everytime I have seen it, there has been this nagging irritation from my subconscious with the movie. Or maybe from my heart. Either way, last night it was particularly bothersome to me... maybe because I was not so focused on the story, my mind could think about it a little deeper about the nagging in my brain. I started thinking about Vivian Cash, Johnny's wife, who is portrayed as a nagging, always pregnant wife. Even Van, who is often very bothered by movies which portray affairs made the comment, "Well, at least from the way it seems in this movie, she pushed him to June." And that's when I found myself saying, "SO??!!!" First of all, I don't necessarily believe Hollywood's description of Vivian Cash. Of course they want to make it seem like she is this annoying, nagging, unsupportive wife. It makes the Johnny-June romance ok. If Vivian was a loving wife, and Johnny just wanted something new, he would be a lying, cheatin' scoundrel. BUT -- if he was pushed into the other woman's arms (June's) then he would be entitled to it. Right? I mean that's basically what Hollywood is saying. And, it is what our society has come to believe.
This "great" love story shows June and Johnny singing together, fishing together, sharing intimate secrets of their life... even lying in bed together while he teases her playfully with candy. It seems sweet and even romantic. But so much of the real-life pieces are missing from these snapshot moments. Of course June was the fun one. She was having fun, singing on the tour, the girl Johnny saw as supportive and "there" for him. But wasn't Vivian, who was allowing him to live his dream, traveling on tour, while she stayed home raising four little girls the real support? Was Vivian boring because she couldn't be there to go to sleep with him everynight or stay out late drinking and dancing? Being a supportive wife and mother made her "boring" to him... and to viewers of the movie. So what about the love story that is falling apart before our eyes? The woman who thought she was being a good, supportive wife and Mom who finds her heart being ripped and crushed? Where is her side of the story? Oh how we conveniently overlook it. What about her countless sleepless, lonely, tearful nights? And then, there is the idea that Johnny was not only unfaithful to his wife, he was unfaithful to his children. His selfish acts, lead him to tear apart the family in which they had been happy and secure. No matter that his choices were most likely eventually accepted by his children, it most definitely would have produced fear and tears at least once (and I would bet much more than just once) during their childhood.
This "great" love story shows June and Johnny singing together, fishing together, sharing intimate secrets of their life... even lying in bed together while he teases her playfully with candy. It seems sweet and even romantic. But so much of the real-life pieces are missing from these snapshot moments. Of course June was the fun one. She was having fun, singing on the tour, the girl Johnny saw as supportive and "there" for him. But wasn't Vivian, who was allowing him to live his dream, traveling on tour, while she stayed home raising four little girls the real support? Was Vivian boring because she couldn't be there to go to sleep with him everynight or stay out late drinking and dancing? Being a supportive wife and mother made her "boring" to him... and to viewers of the movie. So what about the love story that is falling apart before our eyes? The woman who thought she was being a good, supportive wife and Mom who finds her heart being ripped and crushed? Where is her side of the story? Oh how we conveniently overlook it. What about her countless sleepless, lonely, tearful nights? And then, there is the idea that Johnny was not only unfaithful to his wife, he was unfaithful to his children. His selfish acts, lead him to tear apart the family in which they had been happy and secure. No matter that his choices were most likely eventually accepted by his children, it most definitely would have produced fear and tears at least once (and I would bet much more than just once) during their childhood.
Personally, I am not that impressed with Johnny and June's love story. I think that their own selfishness produced grief for countless others -- others that they at least had once loved above all else. I think in actuality it is a tragedy... and even more a tragedy that we as a society condone such selfishness.
Is that too harsh? I hope not. I do not condemn then. But for the grace of God, go I. I think the biggest misconception between Christian couples is that WE (Christians -- including me) are ever above the possibility of an affair. I know that even the most careful human beings make mistakes. We ALL are prone to errors. But although I do not condemn them for their human selfishness, I do not wish to exalt it either.
I desperately want to purge my thoughts and mindset from any ideas that result in un-Godly desensitization.
I know sin happens. And by God's grace there is loving forgiveness. And there are second chances. But let us strive to live lives that honor that grace given so freely to us. At least that is my desire.
